INTIMATE SOULS – A card deck that sparks meaningful conversations about sex and desire when no one else is going to
INTIMATE SOULS is a reimagined deck of cards that aims to normalise and encourage the dialogue around sex and desires for women, to help them feel more comfortable with these topics and improve sexual health. The deck functions like a standard 52-cards deck but with alternative sex themed suits and face cards. Additionally, a quarter of the cards include questions, which lead the players to investigate their sexuality and desires on a deeper level.
This dual use allows for a more pressure-free playing environment. Instead of having a series of questions to be answered in sequence, the questions become a part of a game we are already familiar with. There is also no need to answer every question and always pay attention to them. They are simply there, as a reminder that these topics deserve open discussion. And since there are so many ways to play these cards, it makes the standard deck a staple in every household and at every social occasion, which adds practicality and hopefully ensures they are not collecting dust on a shelf after one use.
Why women should talk about sex
Sex is a natural thing, a form of pleasure, and without it we wouldn’t exist. Yet, it feels inappropriate for me, as a woman, to talk about it so openly and freely. As women, we have been taught that our sexuality is to be handled discreetly and in private. The act of sex can feel more like a performance, based on how society and media has told us to be sexual. Our own desires get lost in the script we are following. Even if we do feel like we are following our own desires, where do these desires come from? In a patriarchal world, is a woman’s sexual choice ever really free?
Sexual norms and ideals are deeply ingrained, and although the conversation around sex has evolved, they remain. Women are expected to be submissive, follow the man’s lead, moan loudly, and remain aesthetically pleasing. We should be innocent, our virginity something sacred that should be taken during the right circumstances by the right person. At the same time, we shouldn’t be prude, be open to things, but not too much, because then we are slutty. (Berthelsen Gustafsson 2025) We have to be more active about tackling these norms and investigate what women actually want. An impossible question to answer, but one that needs to be asked by breaking the silence.
Having meaningful conversations about sex is essential for women. Through conversations with women in their early 20s in the context of this project, I have found that talking to friends is their main source of information about sex. It helps them to see different perspectives and learn about new things. Being able to relate and feel less alone with certain experiences and feelings is also a valuable part of these conversations. I believe they are necessary to give women a space to reflect on our desires, what we like and what we don’t like, with a bit more distance to ideas and norms imposed by the patriarchy. However, it can be hard to create an environment for talking about these things that actually leads to meaningful dialogue. Therefore, the goal of my project was to design a conversation piece that initiates and encourages these deep and purposeful exchanges about sex and desire for women.
Examples of questions on the cards
Do you feel your sexual desires have space in your real life, or do they mostly exist in fantasy?
What is a sex related insecurity you have and why do you think you have it?
Why do you have sex? What does it mean to you?
How would you react if your sexual partner wasn’t open to trying one of your fantasies?
How can I normalise sex through visual language without making women uncomfortable or reinforcing the concept that for women, sexuality has to be hidden and discreet?
That has been the main challenge I faced when designing this game — to address the complexity and study the fine line between disguising sex and making it more accessible through design. I have found a lot of solutions through researching the female gaze and sexual content catering to women like erotic romance novels and audio porn. I have learned a lot about my topic from reading about the history and design of packaging for sex toys and other sex products. In my opinion, sex toy companies, especially those catering to women, have been and are still pioneers in de-stigmatising sexuality. It has been a problem from early on in this industry to tackle the complex issue of finding a way to make women feel comfortable publicly purchasing products, embracing their sexuality, when they have been socially conditioned to hide it (Morley 2017).
During my design process I have worked closely with my target group of mainly heterosexual women in their 20s, by repeatedly getting their intel and feedback to ensure that my project doesn’t become a product of me deciding what they would like but actually creating something with them. I have also made use of a survey among my target group, translating some of the answers directly into visual solutions for my project, adding a participatory design aspect to it.
References
Berthelsen Gustafsson, Alfred. 2025. “Sexuella normer och ideal i Sverige: En explorativ mixed methods-studie om norminnehåll och sexuell tillfredsställelse”. Psykologexamensuppsats, Lund University. http://lup.lub.lu.se/student-papers/record/9185691
Morley, Madeleine. 2017. “Sex Sells, But How Is Design Selling It to Women?”. AIGA Eye on Design. March 7. https://eyeondesign.aiga.org/sex-sells-but-how-is-design-selling-it-to-women/
